Goals for 2010:

I’d like to do more art this year. I don’t know exactly where that will lead me, but I’d definitely like to draw more. I consider drawing my first medium, and I haven’t done it in so long. I also would like to produce a lot more in pottery as well. I’ve had a goal of finishing an entire set of stoneware for ages now, so hopefully this is the year I do that.

I want to get outdoors more this year. Go on hikes. Walks. Get out and enjoy my surroundings. I really live in a great place, that offers so much to see, explore and appreciate.

Right there with my outdoorsy goal is getting in better shape. I’m not talking about losing weight. I’m talking about toning my muscles, building strength and endurance so that I can do more of the physical things I’d like to, such as skateboarding, snowboarding, hiking… etc…

I want to grow a bigger garden this year. Last year I grew my first successful garden, and really enjoyed the experience. This year-more! I’d love to be eating a lot of our veggies straight from our own backyard. I know that the less your food has been processed, the better it is for you, and we’re all about better food (and better health) here. I’m also thinking about joining a CSA (Community Supported Agriculture) this year, for the same reason I’ve just mentioned. I probably wont be able to grow an entire selection of all the fruits and veggies we eat in my garden, but with a CSA membership, we should get a really good showing of all our valley has to offer.

I also plan to work on my wardrobe this year. Granted, I’ve been pregnant 4 times in the last 6 years, so my wardrobe has kind of suffered as a result, and that’s to be expected. But I’m ready to have some cute and nice things, and put together some sharp outfits.

I’m already working on cozying up my house as well. We’ve got a fairly large house, and originally bought it with the intention of flipping it. Well, 5 years later, we’re still here, and I think we’re going to stay. (We just like it here too much.) So I’m working on filling all those spaces and finding things that express who we are as family and people to grace our walls and occupy our corners… I will certainly be searching for inspiration on the internet.

Goals that will always be on my list:

-growing as a person, learning, and becoming a better version of myself
-seeking, knowing, loving God
-bettering my relationships with my husband, children, family and friends
-HAVE FUN. LIVE. BE JOYFUL AND HAPPY. CELEBRATE.

Usually I do a year end re-cap and have decided to forego that this year, as it seems a bit redundant. If you (or I) want to see what all 2009 held for me and my family you can certainly search back through all my posts.
I will say that 2009 is year I’m happy to wave goodbye to. There were many good things about the year, in particular the birth of Aurora, but it was a hard year too. Being pregnant this time around was not as easy or carefree as my previous pregnancies. I can honestly say that I don’t want to be pregnant again. Wouldn’t mind having more children, wouldn’t even mind actually giving birth, but going through a whole pregnancy again? No thanks.
Perhaps the hardest part of this year was the abrupt and somewhat unexpected loss of Kevin’s dear step-mother, Cheryl. We are all still working through the grief that this has caused all of us, especially Kevin’s dad, Brad. She was a very special lady, and too young, but we all know she is in a better place, we are just missing her.

So I’m really looking forward to this new year. I’m thankful for the opportunity to start fresh, to build anew, to change and be molded, to enjoy life and to be happy. I wish and pray for the best for all of you in this new year as well!

Things are different here. The weather is changing from that nice warm fall weather I adore, to the chilly, windy beginning of winter weather. The storm clouds are looming, and the leaves are all on the ground being scattered this way and that. (That being said… the lighting is really yucky to take another belly shot, and I don’t feel like getting out of my p.j.’s- so I’ll just leave the last belly shot. It’s a good one anyway.)

We are all feeling quite a bit better. There is still a cough here and there and the colder air makes us have to blow our noses, but we are for all intents and purposes well. I went to my midwife appointment Wednesday and had some good news. My platelettes had gone up to 130- which is on the low side, but within the normal range! Good, good, good. We also cancelled any plans to induce, and this was perfectly okay with my midwife. I’m telling you… the thought of having an induction was really causing me a large amount of anxiety. I ended up getting a migraine on Tuesday… Now, all is peaceful in pregnant-mama land, and I feel like I can relax, and let my body “get down to business” all on its own. If I don’t deliver before then, I’ll go see my midwife again next Wednesday… and we’ll make sure baby girl is doing well, and then we’ll go from there.

In other news, my family is going through a hard time right now. I’m not sure how much I’m at liberty to speak about on my blog right here, but do ask for your fervent prayers for my mother-in-law, Cheryl. We could really use a miracle.

This is a make or break year for us. Plain and simple. Sink or swim.
I know that things are not going to be easy this year, and I waiver back and forth on what to do with that information. I know I have a decision. I can either stick my head under the sand, thereby making things harder. It’s hard to do so much with sand (and by ’sand’ I mean, fear, doubt, lack of confidence and inaction) polluting all your senses. Or I can hit the ground running, and be prepared and ready, and hopefully make things easier. And here’s where you can keep me accountable; I choose to hit the ground running- to do whatever I can to make things better, easier, and to try, unceasingly, to be a positive force in my life and the lives of my family.

That being said, my biggest “resolution” this year, is to get out there and do stuff! I feel like I spend so much time dreaming up and about things to do from my comfy chaise lounge, and this year, I want to get off my rear and participate! I have people to meet, friends to hang with, children to play with, stories to write, cartoons to draw, art pieces to be creating, moments to be had, memories to be created, relationships to strengthen, songs to sing, concrete and wood to be skated, snow to be boarded, dirt to be hiked, sites to be seen, mysteries to be discovered, work to do, and fun to be had!
In so many ways, implied and not:THIS IS A YEAR WITHOUT LIMITS!

So last night at about 10 pm-ish, I realized that four years ago, I was going into labor with Drew. Four years goes by so fast. Yes, Drew was born today at around 5:17 p.m. after 19 hours of a pretty predictable, text-book labor, minus a few little things…(but that’s another story.) Lately I’ve been thinking back to the times he was an infant, and looking at him now and realizing how far he’s come. I’m kind of bummed out that he’s changed so much so quickly, but at the same time, I’m encouraged, because there were times in my life where I really doubted if I had what a took to be a parent. Here we are, four years later, and he seems to be a fairly well adjusted kid, he’s pretty smart, he’s compassionate (and cute, because, you know, that’s important) and he’s all in one piece. As I look back lately, I’m not thinking as much about Drew’s milestones and achievements, but how much I’ve learned as a parent, and of course, how much I’ve yet to learn. It’s only just recently that I’ve begun to feel a little more confident in my abilities to be a decent parent, maybe even a good one. I definitely have my days, and moments I wish I could take back or do over, but without those, I wouldn’t be learning anything. I try to remind myself that all parents make mistakes, sometimes big ones, but (most of the time) they can be fixed, they can be learned from. It’s okay, and even a good thing, to ask your own child for forgiveness when you’ve blown it. I’ve learned that it’s more important that you lavish (good) attention on your child than be a strict disciplinarian (because, usually, if they are getting the time and right type of attention they need from you, they’re less likely to misbehave.) I’ve learned that when I yell, I’ve lost control, and my kids know it. It accomplishes nothing, except for belittling the children I love, and swallowing my own mind with guilt and self-loathing. I’ve learned that Drew and Beau and this one growing inside are so much more than my responsibilities (because, yes, there have been times when I realized that is how I was thinking of them,) they are people I really love, so much I would die for them. Thinking about that when they are really testing me, puts things into perspective.
My prayer for Drew in his upcoming year is that any damage I may have done as a faulty parent would be repaired, that our relationship with one another will grow stronger. That I will be a more understanding and compassionate mother, one who encourages his interests even when they drive me crazy. One who spends time with him, even when I would rather be doing something else. One who nurtures his intellect, who fosters learning and creativity. And that anything I may have missed, I will either become aware of, or will be covered by another important adult in his life.
So Happy Birthday, Drew. You are so special, and I love you so very much, and I hope that I show that enough that you never have to doubt it.
Love,
Mommy

Okay my friends- it’s time to step up. Do something that will make not only yourself but many other people feel warm and fuzzy this season, this year. Knit baby caps to donate to Save the Children. Your donation of a cap could save a little baby’s life. Check out the link and see what you can do to help!

Tomorrow, Sarah’s daughter Addison is having open heart surgery. If you think of it, please lift her and her doctors up in prayer tomorrow for a successful and safe surgery!